I am a parenting book junkee. I will and have read almost any parenting book that someone recommends. Most parenting books recommend the same things…primarily connection with your child. If you build you’re relationship with your child you can overcome most challenges. Spend time listening to your child, spend unscheduled time doing whatever the child is interested in, listen to your child about whatever they want to talk about. The list of ways to build connection goes on and on. But what happens when you spend a TON of time with your child and they still push your buttons? What do you do then? Why isn’t this connection thing working?
It wasn’t in any parenting book, but it was actually in some of my recent happiness reading that I discovered the answer that works for me. One of the keys to general happiness is savoring. Living in the moment and enjoying it. Paying attention to what is happening. I realized that I haven’t been doing much savoring in the last year or so and it makes a difference. It does affect your happiness, whether the moments are good or bad, savoring them, noticing how you are feeling, what is happening, does improve happiness.
So how is this savoring to drive happiness related to when you are asking your kid for the fifth time to “please get their shoes on so we can go to school.” These are moments to savor too. In all too short a time, my kids (age 5 and 8) are going to be grown up, and even these most annoying of moments I am going to miss. So when I find myself getting irritated/frustrated/annoyed and about to lose my cool, I try to remind myself “you’re going to miss this”. It is so simple, but it totally works. It reminds me that my kids are at this young age where they still unknowingly (is it really?) drive me crazy, and as they grow up and get bigger, I really am going to miss these moments, the good ones and the bad ones. Try it and see for yourself. Plus it will also boost your happiness level, who would have thought savoring the annoying moments would do that, but they do?!
What are your secret parenting tricks to not lose your cool? What are your tricks for savoring the moment?