There is an incredible number of things that we tolerate every day and don’t even notice. A long commute sitting in traffic; a bad haircut that undermines our confidence; too much clutter; the closet that you don’t want to open because you are afraid stuff will fall on you; friends that take and never give; not having enough time to enjoy your favorite activities. These are all things we tolerate. Some are a big deal (poor friendships) and some are less of big deal (clutter), but they all suck our energy and happiness just a little. Some tolerations suck more energy than others. But imagine, if you could free up the brain space and energy you waste thinking about these tolerations and how much freer you could feel?!
So how do you do this? Some tolerations you can tackle and others you may not be able to or may choose not to. For example, a long work commute you may suffer through because you want to live close to your kids school and you love your job which is far away form your home. Could you tackle this toleration by working from home a couple of days a week? Could you carpool and get some work done in the car, so you have more time when you are home to enjoy your family? Could you find an equally rewarding job closer to home? By cutting your long aggravating commute, you might also tackle other tolerations like not having time to do other things or a stressed relationship with your family because you are grumpy after sitting in traffic for an hour on the way home. This is called a pivotal toleration, or one that, when tackled, resolves other tolerations.
When I was working in corporate retail, I had so many tolerations. The biggest one was that I didn’t have enough time with my kids and I felt like I was spending the weekends running errands and not having meaningful time with my family. My company did not embrace a flexible work environment for my function, but I still worked with my manager to create a flexible work arrangement for me. It took 2 years and a slightly new role, but I was able to drop down to 80% time giving me one day a week to myself. On my one day off, I was able to run errands without kids (heaven!), workout, see friends for coffee/walks, or even spend time with my kids. We were able to save our weekends for important family time. I zapped multiple tolerations in one move, albeit a long process to create.
A lot of tolerations are easy to zap with a little focus and energy, while others create more thought and planning. Write down your 10 key things you are tolerating at work and 10 key things you are tolerating at home and go down your list one at a time. Tackle some of the easy ones first, this will give you energy and motivation to tackle some of the harder ones. Once you start tackling tolerations, you can feel the difference in your energy and mood, this will give you the power to take on the next toleration. Starting zapping today and see how it feels!
Click here for a list of some common tolerations to get your gears turning.